My Child

My lovely but messy bunk!

I moved to Orlando, Florida four days ago for my YWAM DTS. Let me just say that I got out of the car to shake hands with the person welcoming me and just about vomited and passed out at the same time. I was beyond scared. My fear allowed Satan a firm grip on my life. And in all that fear I neglected to trust God. But something God has continued to prove in my life, and I think He is proving in everyone else's lives, is that He is way bigger and greater than our fears. He is bigger than worry about who my roommates would be, worry about whether or not I'll make friends, and worry about the future that was unknown to me. But He was walking right beside me just waiting for me to realize what He has in store is so much better and bigger than what I could imagine. I've only been here on base for 3 days and only have had 2 days of classes, but let me just say, God is good. Let me tell you all about what has happened so far.

First, I got on campus to drop my stuff off in my room and immediately met three of my four roommates. Let me just say, typically you can have up to eight girls in a room, but I only have four other girls in my room, which to me is a huge blessing. But anyways, the real blessing came in meeting my roommates. Immediately, they were so nice and friendly and welcoming to me. And my fear immediately ceased because just having girls who were nice, who talked to me, and who were so welcoming made me feel like I was going to be okay here for the next three months.

Second, the campus is just beautiful. It's kind of in the woods with gorgeous trees, greenery, and sand. We have to walk everywhere but it's Florida so no issue there. I very much enjoy walking around because the sun is shining and the place is beautiful.

Thirdly, I was at dinner the first night after having said goodbye to my parents (which was hard and sad, but I made it quick because I didn't want to cry, but I wish I'd had hugged my mom and dad a little longer now) and one of the girls sitting across from me complimented me on my eyes. Not a huge deal except for the fact that I hate my eyes because they're too dark and look like black holes. To me, this was just God romancing me saying, "I love you." It's things like those in life that if we were to look for them everyday, I believe we would find so much more joy in our daily trials because we would see those moments of God saying, "I love you despite all the crap going on right now."

Fourthly, I got invited by some girls to hang out the first night and that just made me so excited and happy to be intentionally invited and wanted. From other blog posts, you know that my whole life and story has been filled with moments of feeling unwanted and unloved by many of those around me. So being invited in was amazing. The second night I got the chance to hang out with people from my Photography elective class and it just felt so good to be sitting at the table, connecting with new people, and just having some excellent, fun, godly conversations like I'd never had with people I barely knew. So friendship wise, I am still working on it, but it's going better than I'd expected, which makes me so so so happy.

Fifthly, we have morning worship everyday, Monday-Friday, from 9-9:45. I was a little concerned going into it because I've heard it was a little different than worship I was used to it. But let me just say, it does not matter the style or the songs as long as the Lord is honored and present in your worship. I have loved it so much. The first morning I woke up homesick and sad with feelings of doubt creeping in, voices saying I wasn't good enough and I couldn't do it. But worship fixed that. People kept saying over and over again that this was a new season, new things were coming, and God would work, and I realized God had me here for a reason and I finally felt that this was exactly where I was supposed to be. I honestly think starting my mornings off with that is the most awesome thing and is truly a great way to begin the day and to give it all to the Lord. A new song I'd never heard and really like for all you out there looking for some good worship music is called "Obedience" by Lindy and the Circuit Riders.

Sixth comes the most incredible moment I had today. Towards the end of my first class we had about 15 minutes to journal and I was sitting there praying and I had this vision of Jesus standing behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder in a comforting way. And I was like, "Cool but not really sure why I had that vision." I kept praying and journaling,just really declaring some truths over my life. Then I met what is called my "one-on-one", which is a staff member who we can talk with and meet with and she told me that she really felt this presence of peace over me and felt that Jesus was standing behind me, wrapping His arms around me in a comforting hug. I was just blown away that she felt that after that vision I'd had. It was crazy. For me, that is Jesus inviting me to trust Him and to release that fear that plagues my heart and mind. He is embracing me saying, "Trust me, I'm here, I love you, and I have you." Because honestly, I'm scared of the things to come. Every week we head out into Florida and get the chance to serve and evangelize to the locals. Tell me that is not scary. I've never led anyone to Jesus. I don't know where to begin. But God just continually reminds me that He is God. He knows. I am HIS vessel and if He wants to use me He will give me the words to say. It's still scary but I just continually have to put that into perspective.

So that's just a couple of crazy, incredible things that I've seen and experienced so far. And it's not even all of them. I think if every person got the chance to experience just five months of a DTS the world would be radically changed and the things learned would radically revolutionize the spread of Jesus' name. So, if you even feel an inkling of a calling to do it, just one school, just 5 months, DO IT. Even if it's a one time thing, the things you'll learn are freaking awesome. And I'm only two days in so yayyyyy! Anyways, the Lord has just been really working in my life in these 3 days so I would encourage everyone to just seek the Lord each and every day and see what He shows you. I am spending my everyday with Him and He is working. And the same God that is working in my life here is the same God wherever you are and can work in the same ways. We so often put God in a little box and forget that the same God that worked miracles in the Bible is the same one today. And He will heal miraculously, He will give you visions, and He will speak to you. You only have to believe that He will and fervently seek Him. So today I encourage you to ask God to do something crazy in your life. Ask Him to speak to you. Ask Him to show Himself to you in a bold way. Invite and believe again in the crazy, incredible, awesome, all powerful God we read about in the Bible.